A highly sought after answer. Almost forty two years later and I don’t know what to tell you, but with how Westernized humans are living, we will never find it as a whole. I do believe I am starting to find it, sadly as I reach middle age, wishing I had learned these things sooner. Life is not in a huge house, an unaffordable car, a new washing machine or dryer. It’s not in a job or salary. It’s not in the latest pair of Jordan’s that society makes you feel like you must have. Life may mean something different to each one of us, but in the end it consists of the basic fundamentals of life; shelter, nutrient providing food, basic clothing, and familial, societal, and close relationships.
I’d like to think I’m different, that I’m “woke”, that I am aware of what is going on with humanity, or the lack there of. A few months back I posted about my time off of work after spinal surgery had really left me wanting and needing more in life. The feeling has been there for a very long while, suppressed by the constant need to make a dollar to keep a roof overhead, pay all the bills, and put food on the plate. I’ve been reaching for years now, only to come up short, and in the same position, just like a large percentage of the populace. No longer wanting to attribute to my perpetuating cycle of unhappiness, living in a state of constant stress, and always in a rush because I had to be at the next place, I told my job I was cutting my hours and my landlady that I was pursuing a different place to live.
I started spending more time outside, where I love to be the most, deciding to take care of myself, my now twenty one year old daughter, and my dogs. Happiness was found, not complete utter contentment, but happiness-with a feeling of time slowing down just a little and enjoyment of more of the things that will create a perpetuating cycle of joyfulness. Finding the things that bring joy and contentment to the heart and soul is what life is all about. Life is part of a continual feedback loop with the decisions we make at any given moment predicting our future paths. My decision to make that path mine is deeply infused within. The search continues to find my tiny home on wheels for now, so that I can explore the meaty middle of the Americas, and hope one day to be able to have my dream of a sailboat come true.
The truth is, we all feel this urge to know what the meaning of all this is, our lives, our existence, but we are too busy trying to pay the bills, strapped down and broken to realize it. We are told we are to follow the societal expectations, go to college, find a job, get married, have kids, and obtain that huge house with the perfect lawn and a swing set out back. We are advertised to directly for everything we don’t need to a point that it creates a want, or at least a want to keep up with the rest of the world and not be left out or behind. We are told how to dress, what music to listen to, and how to properly poison ourselves with what kind of chips to buy (and told that they are healthy!?!). We are lied to. We are corralled and dictated to as the proverbial sheep. We are being trained to not think for ourselves and trained to want more and more stuff. We are slaves to our own environment and sadly we allow it, become stuck and numb, too busy to care or do anything about the ever declining society/civilization around us. It’s a sad state of affairs that I no longer willing to be a part of.
I want as much freedom as I can afford and I want it now. Choose to live now. Slow down, have less, find what you love, express yourself as a human being to the fullest, stop being owned by someone or possessions. Don’t be afraid. Do it now.