Let it go

The last four months I’ve realized that there are things I just have to let go to get ahead. The first thing was I gave up was my food scale. For the last ten years of my life, I’ve weighed nearly every little morsel that I put into my mouth. I logged it into an App on my phone. Every carrot, salad, piece of chicken…all accounted for. I gave it up January 1st when I began the Whole 30 diet. It was hard at first, it was such a routine to weigh my food. This was one of the best things I could have done to start the year. I was being robbed of time, robbed of my self worth, confidence, and so many intangible things. 

Over the last eleven years I’ve practically lived at the gym, trying to attain the muscular female physique like my favorite athletes I follow on Instagram. What I perceive as attractive. I still find it highly attractive, but as of August 2015, I’ve given up (finally) my wanting to compete as a physique or strength athlete. What benefit would it serve me? None. No financial gains, no awesome new job, no cool new place to call home. I wouldn’t be provided any of the things I wanted or needed in life. So now I go to the gym three days instead of five to six and instead of trying to squat 275 I just try to keep my muscular shape while training for function. Now that the weather has been warmer, I’ve been enjoying hikes with the dogs and fishing instead for exercise. 

It doesn’t end there. I’ve sold or boxed up about 50-60% of my home, all the things I do not use or need. I have less things to clean, move, walk around. It has made me feel so light. I spend less money on useless crap. I eat more consciously, only buy what I need from the grocery store.  No stockpiling in my pantry or freezer. 
I regret none of it. I don’t regret selling or giving away one thing. I’m moving toward a different future. One where I enjoy life more instead of being stressed about things and money. A simpler way of life. It will take me a while to get there, but in four months I feel like I’ve made good progress. 

With letting go of some of these things, I’ve gained dietary freedom and has further allowed me to minimize my household by eating those things in the pantry that were “too high in carbs” per my old way of eating. I don’t worry about how many meals I eat a day, how many hours since my last meal, or carrying food with me everywhere I go so I don’t miss a meal. I’ve found the time to walk and hike with my dogs more. The time to learn how to fish again. The money to buy the necessities and fix my vehicle. I feel more at peace with myself. I feel like my goals ARE attainable. All these years I just never knew how to approach it. Turns out I was being held down by to many things. 

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