How to unstick the stuck

I’ve been trying to fulfill this…if I were to gauge how much I have, I’m looking at 40%. 40% I do what I love. I’ve ran a few 5k.  I workout 5-6 days a week.  I’ve competed in Crossfit.  I’ve explored some local spots.  I’ve planted. I’ve eaten. I’ve sipped.   But that’s only 40% of my happiness. 

I am currently off of work for about 5 days. Some days were planned, others were not. But in these 5 days, I’ve experienced many things that I would have never experienced if I had been ‘stuck’ at work. (Yes, I consider being there stuck. I am completely unfulfilled by my job.) I heard and saw birds I have never seen nor heard before and don’t even know the names of. I experienced happiness, stillness. I felt the presence of the ‘now’. 

I recognize my lack of happiness within my personal life and career. That’s the missing 60% of my life. The career holds me back. I have to work so many hours to make enough to afford life.  My home holds me back because I have to pay so much to live here, so I have to work as much as possible to afford rent. I can’t afford to move on in my life, though I’ve reduced all frivolous and unnecessary spending.  I wait for a blessing. A sign. A hand waving me in another direction, welcoming me to my next stage, while I continue to work away my days…

And become another day closer to death. 

I’m not a fan of being negative at any level in my life. These few days has solidified my feelings and if anyone out there has had any experience with this vicious circle of spinning your wheels in the mud, I’d love to hear how you’ve found your way out. 

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4 thoughts on “How to unstick the stuck

  1. Waid Lackey says:

    I know exactly how you feel, and although I haven’t extricated myself from the mud yet, I can see a way to make my goal of stripping life down to the bare essentials and living a life one can understand with simple food, drink, and time to really live instead of just exist. I have worked for the same school district for 25 years and was going to shoot for 30. Instead, I have decided to make this my last 10 mos. of employment and will head for the coast to pursue my dream of living aboard a sailboat. I have been sailing forever, and have lived aboard twice before falling victim to a career, family obligations, and consumerism. I am now divorced, the kids are all grown and I will celebrate my 53rd birthday in a few days. My 54th will be aboard a sailboat. I have already spent the last few years reducing my “stuff” and practicing refuse, reduce, reuse, and recycle. For the next 10 mos. I am going to practice thriving on a budget I will have with taking early retirement. I am going to eat and drink like I would on a boat and pursue hobbies, interests, and entertainment like I would have living aboard, and try to ride my bicycle to work and for shopping, as I plan to do while living on a sailboat. I, like you, am strong and fit physically, but my mind is like mush from not living the life I am designed and longing to live. I have a journal that I have been keeping for years filled with quotes encouraging me to follow my dreams. One of my favorites is by Robert Fulghum. “The fruit is out on the end of the limb. Go there.” I have written a credo titled, TURTLE-OSOPHY, to remind my of what fruits I am trying to reach. I will share it with you in another post, soon.
    I am glad I checked your blog. I had commented mos. ago on a post and then I would check regularly for other posts and had gotten out of the habit. I hope to read more from you when you are inclined to share your hopes, dreams, aspirations, …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for this! I just love this quote -“The fruit is out on the end of the limb. Go there.” That is everything to me in the simplicity I desire. I just love your story and appreciate hearing it, so much extra motivation for myself. It is amazing the world that we live in expects us to live a certain way, how are you dealing with criticism from family and friends? Just this week as I’ve been roping in some thoughts and feelings, I was reminded how much I enjoy the expression of writing here, but had fallen out of habit and intended to get back on it.
      I can’t wait to watch your story unfold Waid!

      Like

  2. Waid Lackey says:

    Thank you for your kind words. Presently I don’t blog. However, it is on my list of things to begin in the next few weeks. My family is very encouraging of my plans and they are also always telling me to write down my ideas to share with others. I will send you a link as soon as I get started, hopefully soon! I will share this philosophy, or my personal credo, that I wrote several months ago. This will certainly be included on my blog:
    TURTLE-OSOPHY
    As a piddler on my life’s journey, I promise to continue practicing Tao and discovering. I promise to take really long holidays from the conventional life and dwell in small sailboats on mother Ocean and in small cottages among wise old trees, to honor my freedoms and give thanks for good health, family, and friends, to truly practice less is more and K.I.S.S. – to live simply in my own way. I also promise to have one warm sleeping bag, a sailboat, and a bicycle. While traveling here, I promise to practice non-judgment and non-attachment, to have a mind that actually sees and is open to what’s truly important, to laugh every day and to love, and be silent and walk my turtle peacefully among all of the other fragile creatures of the Earth, to rescue all the little bugs I find in distress, and to love my cats, and to wish on shooting stars, catch falling stars, and to live a charmed, low-key life, wisely and well. Oh, and to eat only veggies and to always stroll in comfortable shoes…
    Tao of Waid
    I truly enjoy reading and pondering your writings. Keep at it. Writing,for me anyway, is a form of meditation.

    Liked by 1 person

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