I’m trying here. I just want the next chapter of my life to begin already. I know there are still at least a few ‘easy’ steps in between, but the truly hard steps haven’t even happened yet. Easy steps=unloading the house of belongings. Hard steps=saying goodbye to my old dogs (not before their time of course!) and moving onto smaller, more affordable living spaces. Easy is also beginning to live, to see and experience life first hand…for once!
I have been feeling like I’m living outside of my body, of my own life for months. It’s such a lost feeling, like I’m living between two realms, two lives. I so want to begin by moving onto a smaller sailboat or a RV to save as much money as I can for a Tayana 37 sailboat. I pay over double of what the cost of an average mooring or slip or RV park costs every month in rent. Not to me to mention utilities trash removal and New England heat!
So for now I’ll try to reel it in, take it little by little. Today I relearned how to fish for trout. I had been over twenty years. It’s just another component to the future. When I remember that there are so many things I should and need to accomplish before venturing off it makes more sense and I feel calmer. I’ll be sure to take the time to learn saltwater fishing this summer, get out dinghy sailing, watch more YouTube on blue water sailing, navigation, and see if I can dabble in some engine work and general building, painting, and problem solving.
Even as I write this I realize I AM making a forward progress toward my goals. Even if my financial goals are on a standstill/backslide, I am making forward motion. Even if it is not as fast as I’d like.